Recently Maureen Dowd had an article in the NY Times called What’s a Modern Girl To do (link is to the right). It describes many of the conflicting feelings I have about feminism. The Money issue. One reason I avoid dates at this point is because I prefer to avoid the agony of paying for a bill. You just know that that bill is going to come and you’re going to have to offer to pay for it (what Dowd calls “the Offering”). He knows you can pay for it. You know you can, but it is incredibly bothersome to have to think about it, and it causes enough anxiety that I would rather not go out on dates. I must admit that I have yet to meet someone who says I shouldn’t pay with “girl money” or money made by a woman.
Then there’s the whole question of marriage. Sigh. There is a whole generation of women who are successful, single and barren. (As I see my future passing before my very eyes) These women are bright, interesting, and intelligent. But have failed to find a significant other not intimidated by their success or independence. Men would prefer to marry their secretary, assistant, or some type of woman in a subordinate position - subordinate in terms of work. What’s with this power thing? Gee what a surprise that I’d rather not spend my time falling all over my husband and making sure I’m at his disposal. What’s more, what does it matter if my income is more than his? It’s all going to the same account (I hope), but it really gets down to a matter of power.
The rigid stereotypes that magazines like Cosmo and Maxim perpetuate really disturb me. When having a conversation with a guy about why I don’t like Britney Spears or Jessica Simpson, oftentimes he will flippantly mistake this notion as pure jealousy. If I was jealous, I would get my nails done like theirs, dye my hair blonde, put on a half a pound of makeup, and finally starve myself so that I might look very similar (if not exactly alike) the ideal beauty of today. No, my dear males, it is not jealousy, but it is the mere fact that I reject the stereotypes that these women embody. On the one hand, there’s nothing more noble than staying at home raising children, but it should be equally respectable to have a career in the workplace. I know plain and simple that I will never be like the poster of Jessica Simpson barely clothed with a broom in her hands and an enticing twinkle in her eyes.
And one of the more alarming statistics: A 2005 report by researchers at four British universities indicated that a high I.Q. hampers a woman’s chance to marry, while it is a plus for men. The prospect for marriage increased by 35 percent for guys for each 16-point increase in I.Q.; for women, there is a 40 percent drop for each 16-point rise.
So what is a modern girl to do?
Act stupid enough, and I might be able to snag a husband…
