Life After College Graduation

Recently Maureen Dowd had an article in the NY Times called What’s a Modern Girl To do (link is to the right). It describes many of the conflicting feelings I have about feminism. The Money issue. One reason I avoid dates at this point is because I prefer to avoid the agony of paying for a bill. You just know that that bill is going to come and you’re going to have to offer to pay for it (what Dowd calls “the Offering”). He knows you can pay for it. You know you can, but it is incredibly bothersome to have to think about it, and it causes enough anxiety that I would rather not go out on dates. I must admit that I have yet to meet someone who says I shouldn’t pay with “girl money” or money made by a woman.

Then there’s the whole question of marriage. Sigh. There is a whole generation of women who are successful, single and barren. (As I see my future passing before my very eyes) These women are bright, interesting, and intelligent. But have failed to find a significant other not intimidated by their success or independence. Men would prefer to marry their secretary, assistant, or some type of woman in a subordinate position - subordinate in terms of work. What’s with this power thing? Gee what a surprise that I’d rather not spend my time falling all over my husband and making sure I’m at his disposal. What’s more, what does it matter if my income is more than his? It’s all going to the same account (I hope), but it really gets down to a matter of power.

The rigid stereotypes that magazines like Cosmo and Maxim perpetuate really disturb me. When having a conversation with a guy about why I don’t like Britney Spears or Jessica Simpson, oftentimes he will flippantly mistake this notion as pure jealousy. If I was jealous, I would get my nails done like theirs, dye my hair blonde, put on a half a pound of makeup, and finally starve myself so that I might look very similar (if not exactly alike) the ideal beauty of today. No, my dear males, it is not jealousy, but it is the mere fact that I reject the stereotypes that these women embody. On the one hand, there’s nothing more noble than staying at home raising children, but it should be equally respectable to have a career in the workplace. I know plain and simple that I will never be like the poster of Jessica Simpson barely clothed with a broom in her hands and an enticing twinkle in her eyes.

And one of the more alarming statistics: A 2005 report by researchers at four British universities indicated that a high I.Q. hampers a woman’s chance to marry, while it is a plus for men. The prospect for marriage increased by 35 percent for guys for each 16-point increase in I.Q.; for women, there is a 40 percent drop for each 16-point rise.

So what is a modern girl to do?

Act stupid enough, and I might be able to snag a husband…

This weekend was great, a much needed improvement since last week. Friday, I went to Ida’s with five other girls where Ida dressed us up in Senegalese attire to attend a religious ceremony. We were fed and everybody sang, and played music. This week there will be much celebration in anticipation of Korite, which I’m looking forward to. Saturday, I went to the beach and then everyone came over to my place to watch Thelma and Louise. It was incredibly hot in my room, but everyone said it was fine, it was about seven or eight people. Sunday, I took care of the chillins all day and the went to the beach in the evening. I went with Sarah and Aleji to Ngor Beach, which was amazing at night time. It was secluded and beautiful, and you could see so many stars. When I came back, I hung out with the Senegalese guys outside and talked with them for awhile. They’re an interesting bunch, and I’ll miss them when I move.

Today, I gave my Mom candy and cookies to give to the family for Halloween. I opened the halloween card from my family and it made me miss home. I’m getting into a routine here, but I imagine it will be a bit tougher and bit easier when I’m living on my own.

Gotta love these power outages… it basically took it 2/3s of what I wrote for this post. Oh well, c’est la vie ici. This week started off well, I received the best package in the mail ever from my mommy. It was more than fabulous and had so many American things in it… I am accustomed to being here now but every once in a while I get a bout of homesickness. But the entire week wasn’t so good. Monday night I had just started to change out of my clothes in my room, and Samba walked in and I told him to go away in french and I’m not really sure if he understood why I told him to get out of my room, but I haven’t seen him since and I feel a little bit bad about that.

Then, I just got into a funk all week and I didn’t want to see anyone and needed some space. Of course, it’s considered incredibly rude here and my host mom got very mad at me for not acknowledging her. Then I accidentally confused my two brothers and it just hasn’t been good. I really want to move to my new apartment. Speaking of which I helped my future roommate move her stuff to our new place.

My soon-to-be apartment is absolutely gorgeous. It’s new, and it’s right on the beach. Who would have thought that it would be cheaper to live on the beach than in town?? Craziness! But it’s beautiful and will have the internet (alhumdudlilay), and I will be sharing it with another American who is absolutely fabulous. So one good thing came of this week…

Today, I went to the market to buy my clothes for Korite (the celebration of la rupture de jenne or the end of fasting). I went with another American (which wasn’t too smart because I was concerned I would get ripped off) but I ended up paying a very reasonable price. In fact, the woman I bought the first fabric from helped me find the other fabric that goes underneath the tunic. I figured she would expect payment for helping us, but she was just really kind and helpful and didn’t expect anything in return. I was so happy! But we gave her some money anyway out of respect for the teranga. Now, I have to get over to a tailor to get the rest of it done up. I was relieved to find out from my professor that the price was very much approrpriate for the material I purchased.

The markets are crazy with activity at this time of year because everyone is preparing for Korite (like our version of prepping for Christmas). And about 30% of the people who are at the market are looking to steal from other people who are there. The woman who took us to find the other material scolded me for being careless and made me rearrange my bag and hide my money so that no one could steal it. I felt like I had been adopted right there on the spot.

I have posted some pictures, but they’re not very many. I don’t like taking my gadgets out for two reasons: the first is my family inevitably asks how much it cost me and it’s painful telling them because they think it’s SO much money and it is when you compare it to here. It’s also difficult explaining the differences relative to the standard of living in french. The second is it is the end of Ramadan and the amount of crime that occurs sharply increases before the holiday and, as a tubaab (white person) I am a more likely target. So there will be more pictures when I am living in my apartment and after Ramadan. You can see the photos at photos.yahoo.com/lilcutepawz. Bon weekend, and a lundi in challa.